Again?

Greetings All! After quite an absence, I am back at this blogging business. Some have asked why I did not continue; I guess since there was nothing going on with the carcinoid cancer stuff, I did not have much to say.

Well, those of you who know me know that statement is blatantly false! I ALWAYS have plenty to say! However, most of my musings have been on my FB page, and any time you want to know about my theological rants, my political observations, movie recommendations (go see True Grit - now!), just check me out there.

However, we have reached a point where it is time to once again travel back to Mayo Clinic, so Dee Dee asked that I fire the ol' blog back up. We thought about using FB for this as well, but this format seemed a bit more private, more like family. Dunno, maybe we're a bit nuts, but it's our thing to deal with, so there. (Kidding!)

We fly to Rochester Minnesota one week from today. I am painfully aware that Minnesota is not exactly tropical this time of year. Please, don't remind me. Please. I am slightly in denial at this point! However, the docs wanted to move things up a few months, we felt that it fit life schedule chaos issues better, so we are just going to brave the frozen plains of Minnesota in February. (THIS, by the way, would be prayer request number 1!) One day a week or so ago, the high in Rochester was 2 degrees F; the low was -21. That is MINUS 21 degrees. That, friends and neighbors, is stupid. I know, I'm not supposed to use the "S" word, but c'mon. I still, for the life of me, do not know why reasonable people choose to live in such a place. Other than ice fisherman, every other job there can be done in places where you don't run the risk of death just by going to the mailbox. And in fact, every downtown building is connected by underground tunnel, just to lower the demands on the E.R. at Mayo Hospitals.

So, we fly up on Monday, the day after the Steelers win yet another Super Bowl. That will be number 7!!!!!!! (Count 'em - that's 7 exclamation points; I may have been away for a while, but this is not my first rodeo!) Her testing starts Tuesday morning bright and early. She was originally scheduled for Monday, but that would have had us in a hotel in MN during the Super Bowl, which would just be wrong. I made that decision before the playoffs even began, just on the hunch that the Steelers would be playing. Whew!

Testing will take place basically all day Tuesday, Wednesday, and half of Thursday. Most of the morning tests require 12 hours of fasting, so she will basically eat after lunch every day, and stop by 7:00 p.m. Most of the tests are basically horrible, with lots of injections of vile substances that make her quite ill, nuclear medicines, etc. Another prayer request here! Pray that she has little nausea, and that when she is given the opportunity to eat, she is actually able to do so. Pray that the tests gather all needed information as well.

If everything goes well, we will be back in NC very late Thursday night. If history is a judge, she'll be pretty wiped out for a few days after. We are supposed to do some things with a marriage conference at church that weekend, so pray that we are able to do and to enjoy those events.

Also, our prayer is that if the cancer is not miraculously cured, that at least it is stable. She has had 22-25 tumors in her stomach when viewed in the past, all fairly small. Our prayer is that neither the number of tumors nor the size of any individual tumor will have grown since last evaluation. We pray that there are no tumors of any description anywhere else in her body. And, we pray that no other cancers have "piggy-backed" onto her existing condition. This is actually the greatest risk, according to the Mayo docs.

Mostly, pray that we would learn anew the goodness of our great God, and the fullness of His mercy. Pray that He would be sufficient. Pray that Christ would be our aim, our fervor, our goal; not health nor long life, but the cross. We pray for long life, but pray that we would do so as grateful servants who desire to serve Him here longer.

Thanks, and we'll keep in touch!

Tony

Somewhere between Dante's 7th and 8th circle of hell...

is Chicago's O'Hare Airport. What a day (and night!) we had getting home yesterday!

Our flight from Rochester was supposed to leave at 3:45, but the plane from Chicago didn't arrive until 4:15. We left Rochester at 5:00, landed in Chicago, and as we taxied to our gate I could see our plane from Chicago to Raleigh still at its gate. We hustled from G21 to K15, and it was gone. Missed it by maybe 10 minutes!

We were re-booked onto the next flight, went to that gate, waited 75 minutes, and it was cancelled. We were re-booked, went to the next gate, waited an hour, and it was cancelled. We were re-booked (familiar?) went to the next gate, and this one was delayed 45 minutes. This is, by the way, the last flight of the day to Raleigh. We finally boarded, and sat on the runway for an hour. Kids were all at home, alone, hoping to see us before bed (obviously did not happen). Rides from the airport have been called and re-worked several times (thanks Mike and Warren!) Did I mention that there were somewhere around 18 children under the age of 8 on the flight? Including the three age 5 and under directly behind us? We finally took off, arriving in Raleigh at 2:20 a.m., and got to bed at 3:15 a.m. My first patient today: 8:00! Welcome back!

Thank you all again for praying for us and the trip and her appointments and her health. All went very well, and we are very grateful. I posted an excerpt from Dave McCarty yesterday or the day before, in which he started by saying that "Today is perfect." I guess God wanted to see if I really believe that or not with the whole airport trip through Dante's Inferno and the crossing of the river Phlegethon!

Tony

Heading Home

Greetings!

We just finished meeting with the Dr. Thompson substitute doc (Porterfield?), and the results of everything were, to summarize, "excellent." Praise God!

We continue to learn more about the disease with each encounter, so there was some education this time as well. The over-arching disease that has caused everything else is "atrophic gastritis." This autoimmune disease erodes the stomach lining, prevents B12 uptake, which leads to pernicious anemia; this perfect storm then gives rise to gastric carcinoids. The carcinoids are not the primary disease, they are merely the result of the cascade.

As such, they are expected to wax and wane over time. Some years will show less tumors, some years more. Some years the tumors will be larger, some years smaller. This year: smaller tumors and less of them. So, while that is obviously better than more and larger, it shouldn't be that huge a thing if next year there are more, or if some are larger. It is expected that they will sort of come and go a bit.

The only thing new this year was that her stomach lining overall seemed a bit more irritated, so they are putting her on a short course of a medication to calm that down. Again, not unexpected with the underlying atrophic gastritis primary disease, and no one is that terribly worried about this.

The other revelation, which we probably heard in the past but it just didn't register (I really need to concentrate on great patient education in my own office!), is that the carcinoids themselves are not the main reason for the yearly testing. They really are not worried about them doing anything "bad" at all. The reason for routine and close follow-up examinations is that the atrophic gastritis elevates the risk of adenocarcinoma, a truly bad cancer of the stomach. SHE DOES NOT HAVE THIS! They just want to watch closely due to the elevated risk. They did not have a good estimation of the % likelihood of this cancer, but it was not high.

So, another year here in charming Rochester is complete. It was 58 degrees here yesterday and today, so we're bracing ourselves for the 97 degree NC that will welcome us home later today. Thank you all for your continued steadfastness in lifting us before the throne of grace. His mercies are new every morning, and this morning that feels even more evident than usual.

It is a wondrous thing to be a part of the body of Christ. Thank you all for your prayers and love and care for us and our children. Let us know when and how we can be His hands and feet for you!

Tony

I love Dave McCarty

Every few days, amybe once a week, my friend Dave McCarty of GospelFriendships.com, sends me (and many others) an email of his thoughts concerning our relationship with a holy God. I had not intended to blog again today, but this was just so stinking perfect that I had to give you all at least a taste of it. He is one of the godliest and most humble men that I know, and has the ability to routinely point out the idols that my heart creates as I try to establish righteousness through effort and self-strength. Thank God for people in our lives, sent by God, to encourage us and to challenge us and to convict us through the Holy Spirit's leading!

"Everything about your life today, is perfect.

Nothing in your life today, could be more perfect. You do not know how to go about improving on things, changing things, for the remainder of this day, week, but He does, because He is perfect, and knows you perfectly, and has a perfect plan for your day, week, month, year, rest of your life....

He is the Lover of your soul, pursuing an intimate relationship with you. Perfectly. He has never made a mistake, and He never will. Suffering is His instrument, His gracious tool, to train you to bask in His unconditional love. So you operate more and more in out-of-character ways: instead of your normal idolatrous ways. Others wowed, you wowed."

You can check out Dave's site at gospelfriendships.com, and the emails are free (although he is entirely support-based in ministry). He is a great guy, and consistently hits the gospel of grace squarely on the head.

Tony

Tuesday afternoon

Greetings all! We are here in rainy Rochester, and Dee Dee is sleeping comfortably after finishing today's tests. Biggest was the whole-body CT scan with dye. She had a little residual stomach discomfort, probably from yesterday's procedure, although it could have been a reaction to the IV dye today. No results yet.

I did email her original primary doc, Dr. Geoff Thompson, and offered our prayers and concern for whatever he and his family are going through, and asking if he would be willing to review things and at least email me his thoughts. He emailed back today, and after apologizing for his absence, promised to review everything and call me late this week or next week. We are very appreciative of his willingness to do this!

We don't have any big, "Wow Mayo did another amazing thing" stories this time, but continue to marvel at their consistent, determined excellence. Even down to Dr. Thompson's very quick response to my email (I half wondered if I would get the generic "I am sorry that I will be unavailable ....." automated response), and his offer to work for his patient's behalf even when he is supposedly "off duty." They have a large plaque in the lobby of the Charleston Building, quoting John Wesley:

“Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”

What a great sentiment and ideal for us all, and one that, thankfully, Dee Dee's doctors ascribe to wholeheartedly.

We meet with the substitute doc tomorrow morning, and then fly home in the early afternoon. No more tests are currently scheduled. We are thankful that the yucky stuff is over, and eager to hear good news tomorrow. Thanks for standing with us!

Tony

Monday Afternoon

So all the tests for today are complete. Dee Dee did well with the endoscopy, and I had an opportunity to discuss the procedure with the gastroenterologist (Dr. Mangam) afterward. He was very reassuring, which was great for both of us. He did remove 6 tumors, and so Dee Dee is having some pretty solid discomfort now.

Another good thing was that the blood work, scheduled for sometime after the endo procedure, and in another building altogether, was done in the recovery area after the endoscopy. They did this so that she would not have to fast longer, and to make it easier for her. Mayo just consistently gets it right!

Now for the disappointment. I got a call from our primary doc's secretary an hour ago. Dr. Thompson is unexpectedly not going to be seeing patients for the next two months, and that unfortunately includes Dee Dee. We do not know the reason, but due to the length of his absence I suspect it is pretty big, so our prayers are with him and his family. However, we are disappointed! Geoff Thompson is a big part of why we spend the time and money and effort to come to MN in the first place, so this has (temporarily, we pray) knocked us a bit off-center.

That's about it for today. Pray that our emotions and attitudes toward this doctor change would be God-centered and not man-centered. In other words, pray that we remember that our "hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name." He was not surprised by this last-minute change; He ordained it for our good. So, we are praying that this head-knowledge of His promises to us, and His faithfulness to His own glory would quickly transform our hearts as well.

Amen? Amen!

Tony

Monday Morning

Well, I hope that you all had a great Lord's Day yesterday, and are enjoying the start of a new week today.

We had a great Sabbath yesterday. We:
*Rested - just hung out in the hotel, read, napped, took a walk kind of day.
*Reflected - talked about God's goodness and provision for her regarding the cancer, but also concerning our whole family over the 20+ years we've been married.
*Read - Desiring God (Piper) and The Hidden Face of God (Michael Card), as well as Psalms.
*Ran - we had a nice 2-mile run along the river here in Rochester.
*(I need an "R" word for watching a John Piper sermon on the computer!) - we watched Piper's first sermon in a series he is doing on the intellect and emotion of God as seen in the Psalms. Great stuff!


Dee Dee is back in the labyrinth of hallways and procedure rooms in the Gonda Building here at Mayo, having the first big test of the week. In essence, this is the big test of the trip - endoscopy with ultrasound. This 2-1/2 hour procedure allows them to directly look at the tumors, and to measure their size, number, and depth into the stomach wall. We pray that the number of tumors has either lessened or remained at 22; that their size has decreased, particularly the one larger one that was almost 2 cm on the last visit (above 2 or 2-1/2 cm would point to the stomach surgery); and that they arenot projecting any further into the stomach wall.

She should be done by lunch or thereabouts today. I am praying that she feels well, and that she tolerates the procedures today without nausea. She has fasted since last night, so hopefully will be able to handle some food when we are done here today.

Thank you all for praying for us as we are here. My prayer this morning was not that God would remove our valleys, but that He would give us grace and faith and courage to walk through the valleys as children of the King would walk through the valleys of the Kingdom - without fear, and with a great sense of purpose. Psalm 23 does not say, "The valley of the shadow will be done away with." Rather, it says, "Yea, though I WALK through teh valley...." We all have valleys to trod; let us fear no evil, for He is our guide, He is our comfort, He is our shepherd.

Tony

Update

Okay, before most of you even had a chance to read the last post about Samara, we just got the call that she is doing well and heading home. God is good! She was surrounded by friends, received quick care, and all seems well.

Our day, other than this recent excitement, was fairly uneventful. The flights were smooth, we got here and checked in with no problems. We found a new restaurant her in Rochester, a tapas place called Sontes. Very good, and would be a great success back home!

So, thanks for your prayers and love, and I'll write again tomorrow.

Tony

PRAY!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE PRAY! After an uneventful day, we just got a call from our pastor, Warren Harvey. The Harveys and all the Clark kids went to the NC State Baseball game tonight, and Samara has had a pretty bad asthma attack. The EMTs at the field treated her, and feel that she is unstable enough that she is now on an ambulance to the hospital (Rex or Western Wake, we have conflictng reports). Warren is with her in the ambulance. We don't know any more right now, and that is NOT GREAT!

So, pray for Samara and her health and her emotions; these episodes are quite scary for her. And, pray for her Mom and Dad here in Minnesota, worried and wishing that we were there and not here for about 1000 reasons. It is already an emotional time for us here, so pray for Dee Dee's heart as the cancer prevents her from being "Mother" during a true Mother moment.

Thanks,

Tony

'Twas the night before....

Okay, I know, it is actually very early the morning of, but let's not be so picky!

Just a quick note as we pack up for our next Mayo Clinic voyage. Maybe it's just another excuse to put pics of our N. Africa trip on the blog! One of these is the pic of our whole GAiN (Global Aide Network) team, and the other is of Dee Dee, Samara and me with one of our favorite translators, Achraf.

Due to the quirks of air travel in the US, we were not able to get a flight on Sunday; so even though her testing does not really begin until Monday, we fly up north tomorrow (er, today). We'll do some version of John Piper church Sunday morning (still trying, vainly, to find a ride to Minneapolis), and then everything starts on Monday.

Please pray:
1) That our children would be well, and that the worry does not affect them too badly. Nerves have been a bit frayed here in the Clark house this week, and sleep not so good for some.
2) That Dee Dee tolerates all the tests very well. She has endoscopy (anesthesia on empty stomach); multiple blood draws; full-body CT with and without contrast (nasty nuclear medicine stuff on an empty stomach); and maybe MRI. The octreatide scan, which is her least favorite, is only going to be done if other tests indicate the necessity.
3) That she is healed (which I still have trouble praying for myself).
4) That in absence of true healing, she will be perfectly stable. She was at 22 tumors last year, with the largest being just under 2 centimeters. We need no significant increase in number, and no progression in size to over 2 centimeters; otherwise we will have to do the stomach-removal surgery.
5) That there would be NO SPREAD! Any spread is, we have been told, terminal. Worst would be liver/lungs/pancreas. Let's have none of that!

Thanks everyone!

By the way, our new niece (Lainey - adopted from China by my baby brother and his eternally patient and understanding wife) had surgery yesterday (Thursday) for her cleft palate, and things are going well. While you're praying, why not pray for her as well? God won't get confused, so go ahead - try it!

Tony

Here we go again

Hello all! The time has come for us to head off to Mayo again, and so I thought I'd kick-start the ol' blog again. This one will be short, and more will follow.

We leave NC on Saturday 5/31 for Minnesota, and return on Wednesday 6/04. Basically the same run of testing that Dee Dee has had before, with one deletion (yay!). Ongoing prayer is for little-to-no change in tumor number or size, and no spread. Dee Dee had two friends die in the past two weeks from cancer, so it is made more fresh and a bit more scary for us because of the reminder of how things can change, and how painful this walk can sometimes be.

One of the reasons that the psychological/emotional impact has been lessened this year, or at least deferred until now, is that Dee Dee, Samara and I went to North Africa on a humanitarian aid trip recently. We saw over 1000 poor children, dispensed nearly 600 pairs of glasses, and diagnosed several serious diseases (one was life-threatening). We also joined with 28 other brothers and sisters, and were privileged to serve with them for these folks who need it so badly. It was a life-experience trip, and we'd love to talk more with you about it sometime. Here are some pictures to whet your appetite!

Because of grace,

Tony

Greetings!

And you all thought I had finally disappeared! No such luck. After a very hot summer, I thought I'd write a follow-up post to let everyone know where we're at, how things are going, etc.

My lovely bride and I just celebrated two anniversaries. Our TWENTIETH wedding anniversary was in August! After two decades, I can honestly say that I married up! We are foolishly happy with what God has wrought in our lives and marriage. We celebrated by spending 8 nights in Carmel and Sonoma, CA. What a blast! As we drove around Carmel/Monterrey/Big Sur, we were awed by God's majesty, His splendor, His creativity, and His imagination. We glorified Him with every turn as we drove Pacific Coast Highway 1. We stayed at amazing places, ate amazing food, saw amazing places. We simply enjoyed each other and revelled in the one-ness that only God can grow.

While we were there, we marked the one-year anniversary of Dee Dee's cancer diagnosis. What a year! We have been up and down and all around. Thank you all for going through it with us! You have truly blessed us richly with your love, your prayers, your notes, just being part of the body of Christ with us.

Dee Dee continues to feel great. As has been the case throughout the year, she has felt no real physical symptoms. I will say that occasionally the emotional side jumps up and bites her, as it does me. Sometimes there seems to be no reason, but other times there are obvious culprits. For example, if she feels sick for a few days she may start wondering if it has started to spread. Not always, but sometimes. Recently I was diagnosed with a small skin cancer on my right cheek/eyelid (surgery 10/29), and that sort of brought up some emotions about her cancer for both of us. Maybe because hers will never go away we may always have these episodes; we pray that they lessen in frequency and in duration.

We have seen scary moments aplenty. When it was first diagnosed, there were a few weeks in which we did not know if it had already spread and was therefore already terminal. She had thoracic surgery. We've hugged through tears alone in Rochester Minnesota, and spent frightening moments at Duke. There have been plenty of difficult hours. Y'all know that already, and we praise God for His faithfulness and yours.

BUT! Even more than the scary times, the sad times, the alone times have been the amazing times of praise and glory in His goodness and grace. There has been wonderful growth in closeness and unity in an already fantastic marriage. There has been great maturation in already great kids. There have been multiple opportunities to witness and share our reason for hope with unsaved folks. There have been more occasions to mentor and help other folks who are struggling. In short, God has done the God-thing and worked all to His glory and our good. Ain't it grand? Our certainty and assurance in His faithfulness and goodness have been affirmed and strengthened. Praise Him!

We will go back to Mayo next Spring. Hopefully the interim will be BORING. Honestly, I have prayed for mundane as this has gone on. Feels weird, but nevertheless true. Between now and then, I probably will not write too much on the blog. It has been nice to not think about cancer on a routine basis, and as much as this blog has meant to us, it does sort of force me back into that cycle of thought. I feel a bit like a novelist who has gotten to the end of his story and doesn't really know how to wrap it up!

Thank you for being such an important part of our lives, before September 15, 2006, since that date, and prayerfully for many years to come. God bless you all, every single one of you! Praise Christ for His blood shed for our redemption; praise God for adopting us all into the same family! As unreal as "You have cancer" seems to us, the truly unreal thing in this whole equation is that God has intended everything for our good; that He has given us grace where we deserved wrath; and that He intends for us to reign with Christ in eternity. Hallelujah!

Tony
Psalm 4:8

DONE!

Got the CAT scan done (10 minutes from request to test, then 1 minute wait to get back in with our doc), Dr. Thompson talked to radiologist and bone doc while we were getting everything done (there was a spot on L4 vertebra) and all say NO PROBLEMS!!!!!

Radiologist said that the chest thing is "absolutely secondary to the surgery, and will eventually go away." NO NEED TO FOLLOW UP AT DUKE! That's how confident they are that everything is okay.

Bone guy/radiologist says the L4 thing is nothing to worry about at all, unless you have metastatic cancer, which Dee Dee doesn't have.

That's it folks. Done. See you in a year for routine follow-up. She still technically has cancer, but in the best imagineable scenario. We'll never truly "forget about it," but we'll come pretty close.

We'll talk more later, we're still processing now. And after we eat at Pannekoeken one more time, we're coming HOME!

Tony (smiling from ear-to-ear)

(Mostly) Good news

Good morning! Due to timing, I've got to keep it brief, which as you all know is not the easiest thing in the world for me!

Blood tests: good
Stomach/abdomen CAT scan: good, no signs of spread
Endoscopy: good. No evidence of increased tumor growth, no signs of other "normal" cancer

Praise the Lord! Her doc is really very pleased, very encouraged that this is the ultra-rare form of gastric carcinoid that will still be here, pretty much just like it is today, 45 years from now. He has agreed to have it followed on a yearly basis, instead of every six months. He does not think that she needs yearly CAT or octreoscans, just endoscopy. If that looks suspicious or different, then the other tests would be done, but only if the endoscopy has changed adversely.

So, since nothing can ever be perfectly simple, there is one wrinkle. The ultrasound showed a well-circumscribed 3 cm X 3 cm lesion in her mediastinum (Chest), basically in the area that the chest surgery was done down at Duke a few months ago. He does not think it is cancer, but thinks that it is either a reactive lymph node to having had the surgery, or that they did not get all the lesion during the surgery. Since Duke did all the CAT scan stuff on the lesion before, he does not have much baseline info to use for comparison.

Mayo being Mayo, however, he picked up the phone and got her worked in for a chest CAT scan, which she is having done right now, then he will see her as soon as she has completed that test. We should still make our flight on time. I do not think we will have any firm answer on the lesion today, but rather will have Mayo forward the results to the surgeon at Duke so that he can compare. Also, we will have his surgical notes and operative reports, CAT scans, etc. sent from Duke to Mayo, so that everyone has everything. Duke was supposed to have done this months ago, but either they didn't or we didn't sign the right forms, who knows. Over the next few weeks we'll get this sorted out.

I will leave you with this quote from Dr. Thompson, who again impressed us: "(Pending the chest issue) I think that you are really pretty healthy."

That, friends and family, is good news.

We look forward to being home soon!

Tony

G'night

Okay, I know I was supposed to write earlier, and all I can say is that it has been a good, but tiring day. We finished testing this afternoon, and then slept for a while. We did some walking, ate at Pannekoeken again, and slept some more.

So here's the update:

NO SICKNESS! None for Dee Dee, none for me, none at all. She never got nauseous, and that is a true blessing. I felt weird until early afternoon, but then it just sort of went away (strangely enough, about an hour after I posted that prayer request - coincidence? I think not!). Was mine sympathy, or fatigue, or stress? Probably. Why was hers so much better this time? Prayer. No biopsies during the endoscopy. I don't care right now, I'm just happy she did so well.

GREAT PROCEDURE! Out of all the endoscopies she has had, she felt that this was the easiest of all. They put her under so slowly that she felt alike she was just talking to the nurses and then was out. She never felt anything during the procedure, simply woke up after it was all over. She didn't even have a sore throat afterward. Beautiful, simple, done right. And a good thing, since I wasn't allowed to be with her, even in recovery. Bottom line is that she was really pleased with the physical aspect of all her testing this trip.

Now we wait for tomorrow and the summary appointment with Dr. Thompson. We have no results from anything yet. All tests are completed, and we meet with the docs to talk Thursday at 9:00 Rochester time. Our prayers now are focused on the results and our discussion tomorrow.

I will try to blog after the appointment tomorrow, but it will be tricky from a timing standpoint. I'll do my best, probably around noon eastern time.

Thank you all for everything. Almost over, and that's good.

Tony

A bit ofter 10:00 a.m. in rainy Rochester

Part one of the octreoscan is over, thankfully. She is tired and sore (this test is a bit like my brother's idea of torture!). Yesterday the CAT scan lasted ~45 minutes. She was in the tube, with the machinery about 1-2 inches from her face, with her arms and legs strapped down to prevent movement. She said that she kept thinking that Randy would have to be sedated first (he really dislikes tight spaces!). Today, the octreoscan required her to lie on her back with arms stretched fully over her head for an hour, and will probably require more of the same later today.

Currently she is in the endoscopy procedure. They knocked her out (I assume) about 30-45 minutes ago, and she should be in the procedure now. It will last at least 45 minutes, then an hour or more in recovery before the anesthesia is fully gone and she will be clear to leave this unit. This is my first bout of real anxiety this trip. This was the test that they asked me to come and observe last time, and where I was confronted visually with this amazing field of tumors inside my sweet wife. I am in the waiting room today, and all I can sy is that waiting rooms are boring, lonely places not terribly conducive to prayerful, worshipful waiting. I have read a good bit, prayed a good bit, talked to strangers, paced, stretched and prayed some more.

By the way, please pray that I am not getting sick. I have felt pretty queasy this morning, and am praying that this goes away quickly. Dee Dee suggested that I go back to the hotel, given that she was going to be behind the secret doors for 2-3 hours, but I couldn't leave. Thanks.

I'll write later today, after she is done with all the tests.

Bod bless y'all!

Tony

Early morning, Day 2

Well, good morning! We made it through the night without real nausea, so Praise God! She is in day two octreoscan right now, at least part one. She will do this scan for about an hour, then we go for the endoscopy/ultrasound, then back for more octreoscan. The only other time she got nauseous last time is with the endoscopy, due to the high number of biopsies. We do not expect so many biopsies this time, so remain hopeful that this trip will pass without one of the chief miseries of the past trips.

It seems to me that the tests can be divided into two categories this time. One category is for those tests designed to tell us if the cancer has spread. These include the octreoscan and CAT scan. The likelihood is that these will be normal. The second group, the endoscopy and ultrasound, are to look specifically at the known cancer in the stomach. So, while all of it has been worthy of prayer, the test at 9:00 (Rochester, MN time) today is the one that has the greatest likelihood of directing our course of therapy as we go forward. I'll post again after I see how things are going.

Our kids seem to be doing well. They are definitely having fun with their friends! Caleb, Gabe and Anna Grace are with one family, and Samara, Micah and Josiah are with another (THANK YOU Comptons and Shearins!). Micah has summed up their overall attitude well; every time we talk he says, "Mommy, I hope you don't die, and I hope it doesn't hurt very much." We had a sweet time of tears and prayer with them on our back porch before we left. Great kids, and we realize how much God has blessed us with them all.

We'll talk/post again soon.

Tony

Quick prayer request

So we're nearly done with today, and I have one request remaining for day one. She has just started drinking the truly horrid "Drink of Misery" that she believes has been the chief culprit in her nausea in times past. If you could pray that the next few hours pass with no nausea, and that she would sleep well. Thanks.

By the way, Randy, thanks for the anecdote, and for being a lifelong best friend.

Tony

Update

Well, today got busier! As Dee Dee and the doc from the first test today looked at her schedule, it became apparent that she had a 5-hour gap today, but chaos tomorrow. One test, the full-body CAT scan, requires fasting the day of the test, and it was set for tomorrow at 2:00 p.m. So, despite the protests of the receptionist at the CAT waiting area, I called her primary doc and his office sort of pulled rank and got Dee Dee in for today. This is good, since she is already fasting, and it loosens up tomorrow's schedule as well. Please pray that the two tests this afternoon (CAT scan at 2:30, octreoscan at 3:30) will go off without a hitch. The timing of the two tests is pretty tight, so they are all acting like we are really taking a big chance. She had the octreoscan injection at 11:30 a.m., and they have to start the actual scan almost exactly 4 hours after the injection, so the CAT really has to go smoothly.

Also, pray for us to have patience. She is so ready to get past this, and has so little control over the disease itself, that the machinery of the medical system is frustrating.

Thanks,

Tony

Mayo, Day One

Well, I am writing from the same waiting room from which I posted months ago, and I must say that familiarity does not offer much in the way of solace. We have really not done too much medically as yet; it is 10:40 a.m. here, and no official tests have been completed. She is getting the nuclear medicine injection for the octreoscan first, then bloodwork, then day one of the octreoscan is this afternoon from 3:00 - 6:00. Tomorrow is the big day, at least from a medical procedures standpoint.

Travelling yesterday was fairly uneventful. Planes were crowded, but airports not too bad. When did the airlines decide that pretzels or nuts should be sold, not included?!?! Rude......

We found a new place to eat here in lovely Rochester last night. Pannekoeken, a traditional Dutch restaurant, serves this cool Dutch-version pancake with fruit, called (you guessed it) pannekoeken. It made us think of our friends the Newbranders, who were missionaries in Amsterdam for several years.

Not a whole lot of anxiety right now with either of us. More a sense of resolve, with a bit of trepidation. Just ready to be done with the next two days. I actually think there will be a bit more anxious thoughts prior to the Thursday appointments with the head doc as we review all the results.

Thank y'all for praying and loving us, and I'll write more later.

Tony