One week post-op

Greetings! I know it has been a while since my last post, but that's simply because not much has changed. Basically, this has been a much more painful and slow surgery to recover from than we had anticipated, but she is getting better. Yesterday, for example, she had to leave church early because it just hurt too much to stay.

However, she is clearly better now than she was 2-3 days ago. That is how we have realized that we must think of this process: looking at several days for progress, not daily progress. This is not easy for two sinfully self-sufficient, strong "type A's" to readily accept. We are sort of wired to look at the new morning and compare it to last night. Or, for me to get home from work and want to know how much better she is than that morning. So, it seems, God intends to teach us patience through this process, among other things.

When Gabe was sick, exactly ten years ago, I remember saying that there are times that God shapes his children gently, with very fine sandpaper. There are other times that he is a sculptor, using chisels to knock off great pieces of sin. This is a new time of sculpting for us, and self-sufficiency and patience are two of the chunks getting leveled! Maybe if we'd learned those lessons well enough last time....

Now, I'm not saying that God has sent Dee Dee's cancer purely as discipline. He may very well have sent it simply to refine us, to strengthen our faith. However, His word is clear that he will also correct His children when they are in sinful patterns that they seem unaware of, or unwilling to repent of. Therefore, we would be remiss not to do some introspective soul-searching any time difficulties are sent our way. All opportunities to learn more of our sin, of our need for a savior, should be welcomed and vigorously pursued. This is one of those times, when we are driven back to Christ. We should be thankful when God, in His love and grace, works to get us back to the cross! This is the concept we see in so many Psalms, where He searches our hearts (Psalms 4:4, 7:9, 139:1, 139:23).

Some good news: the preliminary pathology results for the mass removed last week are that it is benign, and unrelated to the stomach cancer. We should get final results tomorrow at her appointment at Duke. So, the surgery was able to be done locally (not at Mayo); in the least invasive manner possible (no broken ribs or sternum sawed in half); with what appears to be the best pathology result possible. Praise God! The pain can wear your body down, but our hearts rejoice in the goodness of God.

Our upcoming schedule looks like surgery follow-up on Wednesday; and first official appointment with the medical GI oncologist at Duke on Thursday. She, we assume, will then schedule the remaining test to look at the sub-surface lesions in the stomach that were seen at Mayo, and then we will decide on further treatment.

I was thinking, how things that you would not really expect to minister to you during troubling times, actually end up being part of the key ways you are blessed. Now, I know you all will laugh at this, and say to yourselves that every Clark male would say the same thing, but food really has been that for us. Many have brought food, both for lunches and dinners. Thank you all! We know some very good cooks! It has been a blessing not to need to figure out menus, try to get them prepared, or just constantly go for take out. Thank you.

Another unexpected blessing: When Gabe was ill, one of our dear friends really ministered to our hearts regularly. Doug and Susie then moved to Oklahoma (proving the depravity of man and that all sin and fall short!), and we have missed them ever since. As we have gone through this, I have missed Doug. I have missed his laugh, his genuine affection, and his ability to quickly connect to my own emotional state. Sunday afternoon, I got a call from this dear man telling me that he would be in my house in about 2 hours. What a treat! He was just in for a brief trip, knew of our situation, and came to spend a few minutes with us. It reminded me of .... the last time I approached this level of hurt/pain/ fear/helplessness, and how God used this brother to minister comfort and peace. In Is. 61, He promises to bring beauty from ashes; isn't it great when He let's us be a part of that process?

Tony