I am going to copy the original letter that we sent to our church to let them know about this. Many of you already have received this, so feel free to skip this second reading.

Late last week (9/21) we discovered that Dee Dee has a form of stomach cancer, known as carcinoids. This is a relatively rare cancer, and it is somewhere between benign and malignant. It does not spread in the traditional sense of “malignant,” where cells will seed themselves into new areas via the lymphs or blood system. However, it can spread by simple growth into adjacent tissue. The cancer was discovered during a routine procedure, while they were looking for reasons that her anemia (present for 10+ years) has recently worsened. She has no real symptoms at this time, and so we are actually thankful that God worsened her anemia; otherwise this would have gone undetected for years.

The only place we know for certain that the tumors exist are in the part of the stomach nearest the esophagus. There are 10-12 tumors total, all fairly small. At this point our next efforts are to determine if the tumors have already spread elsewhere. We started Monday 9/25 with the first battery of testing to look for metastasis. The outlook really comes down to a fairly simple equation. If the cancer is confined to the stomach, her prognosis is very good. The goal in that scenario is total cure, via surgery to remove the portion of her stomach with the tumors. If, however, it has spread, the outlook becomes bleaker. The degree to which the prognosis worsens depends on the exact location and size of the spread. The worst scenario would be spread to the liver.

We are thankful for a number of things. There are several factors in our favor (other than the fact that God is indeed good, and enjoys giving good gifts to His children). I was able to talk to the head of gastro-oncology (digestive system cancer) at the Mayo clinic for about 30 minutes Friday. He was very encouraging. He said that there are several things in her favor, from the standpoint of it probably being isolated to the stomach. These include her youth, her overall excellent health, and even the anemia. All of these things are encouraging, and I am thankful that this gentleman took time out of his amazingly busy day to talk to a scared stranger. He said that in his opinion, having never seen her or any of her tests, that he feels her prognosis is excellent, because he believes that the cancer is only in the stomach. “Now, you will have many difficult decisions to make, and dark days between now and that excellent outcome, but I will be surprised if there is anything worse for your wife,” is how he closed out our talk.

We count you all among the blessings God has placed in our lives at this difficult time. We truly cherish your friendship, your love and grace, and we covet your prayers. I know that you all will pray, and that is really all we need at this time. Our need for physical things, where you can be Christ’s hands and feet to us, is coming. For now, we are trying hard to keep life as normal as possible for the kids, so we ask that things like meals and babysitting, even visits, wait until we are in greater need of those specific things. In particular, Dee Dee is not up for a lot of calls, visits, etc., just yet. She does enjoy notes and emails, so please encourage her that way.

We are both wrestling with this thing, emotionally. Thankfully, I can honestly say that I am proud of the way my wife is wrestling spiritually. She is confident in her Father’s love and goodness, and knows that all things are for His glory. I thank God for the spiritual grace he has poured into Dee Dee. She has continued to look for ways to nurture the very people trying to bless her. We are thankful for Warren’s summer sermon series on the Lord’s Prayer, as we now pray, “Let thy will be done.” There is always a period of time where your head knowledge and your heart emotions are disconnected; where you know that He is sovereign and has decreed all things, and that there is nothing outside His plan for your good, but your heart doesn’t follow the head. Well, we are moving toward the heart believing what the head knows. There will be times that we forget, and we’d ask you to pray that we quickly remember.

The other things to pray for are our strength, our courage, and our faith. Pray for our relationship with each other. Pray that we know how to parent our children well through this time. Pray that all the learning, from all the studies and books and sermons, would yield a harvest of righteous fruit in us now. Pray that the tumors are indeed 100% confined to Dee Dee’s stomach, and further that we are able to prove this very soon. The unknown is….difficult. Pray for our doctors, and for the doctors and surgeons that we will be seeing but haven’t even met yet.

We have difficult decisions to make, so pray for our wisdom. Pray that this would take a marriage that was already sweet, and good, and be used by God to make it amazingly sweeter and better. Pray also for our kids, as they come to grips with this as well. Our youngest two know Mommy is sick, but seem fairly unaware of the possible repercussions, and that is fine with us. Their smiles and sense of “life is normal” is refreshing for us right now. Gabe and Anna Grace are concerned, but are not sure how much to be worried. I pray that they don’t internalize their concern, confusion, or fear. Caleb and Samara are hurting, but are trying to be strong in front of Dee Dee. I am quite proud of their protectiveness of her, but pray that they don’t feel like they have to be strong towers for us. That is not their calling in this; Christ is our strong tower, and theirs.

A friend reminded me of Hebrews 7:25 – Christ lives to make intercession for us. He longs for the times that he, our High Priest, can plead on our behalf. How amazing! How comforting! How like God, to plan the events of our life, and to intimately take part in that same plan. Pray for us as we experience that intimate relationship in a way that we would not have chosen, but which he has. His way is always the right and best way, and for that we are thankful.

Thank you all for your love,

Tony

We should find out the results of today's chest x-ray, blood work, and CAT scans on Tuesday or Wednesday of this week. We have an appointment with Dr. Theodore Pappas at Duke next Monday. He would be the surgeon for her case. Before that happens, we plan to go to the Mayo Clinic for second opinions and confirmation about our course of treatment. I have already spoken with the doctor up at Mayo (in Minnesota), Dr. Joseph Rubin, about Dee Dee's case, and he was very helpful and encouraging.

Our prayer for the next 48 hours is that all tests show zero spread of the cancer to any other organ or location. The prognosis is good as long as it stayed in the stomach. We especially do not want it in the liver or her lungs.

Thank you all for your prayers. Also, thanks for the emails and the cards. They really seem to pick Dee Dee up.

Tony